Dissertation, Disneyland, and a Disastrous Week

Hello friends,

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated.  The last two weeks of February were beyond intense for me--lots going on at work and school and home (btw, we went to Seattle...had some fun...Savannah was terribly behaved the whole time...hence no real report from our trip to See Attle).  We went to Disneyland to celebrate Savannah's fourth (!) birthday last week, so I wanted to submit a chapter prior to departing, so that I could actually enjoy the mini-vacation.  Thankfully, I was able to send in the Geneva chapter two days before we left.  For those keeping score at home, this means 3 chapters are fully drafted and more or less ready to go (need to do some more edits, but edits are easier than drafting), and 1 final chapter is a hot mess that needs to be heavily revised (that's my goal for March and April).  I'm still on track to walk in May and file in August. Woohoo :)

Now, on to the more exciting stuff...Disneyland!  It's hard to believe that our lovely little girl is four years old.  We surprised her with the Disney trip...didn't tell her until we were all loaded up in the car (loading up/packing/getting Sonja to the kennel without her knowing took some subterfuge).  When we arrive to our hotel, she found presents from Mickey Mouse.

She got: balloons (including one that sang..which, unfortunately, had to be left behind because it wouldn't fit in our car...), a Mickey light, an autograph book and pen (signed by MM), candy, a stuffed Mickey Mouse doll that was nearly as big as her, a birthday Mickey Mouse hat, and some great decorations for us to keep for future birthdays.  She was very excited to have all this waiting for her.

On Friday morning (her actual birthday), we got up early and started our day with a trip to the Bibbidi Bobiddi Boutique where her fairy godmother-in training helped her get all dressed up like a princess.  She chose a Merida dress, complete with red hair extensions.

After the BBB. we headed over to Ariel's Grotto for lunch with the princesses, and to meet up with the friends with whom we were traveling.  It was hard to eat lunch with so many princesses coming by to say hello!

On day two, we spent THREE HOURS in line to meet the princesses from Frozen...and, yes, she waited with me the entire time (most families had one parent wait in line while the other parent took the child/ren on rides, but we couldn't do this.  The line was not wheelchair accessible and the park was too crowded for J to navigate with Savannah in tow).  She was such a little trooper.  Actually, with most things travel related, she does pretty well.  She loves hotels, is happy with airplanes or long car rides, and is pretty adaptable to new places.  We got lucky :)  At the end of three hours, she got to meet her current favorite princesses.

I think this encounter made her whole trip.

We had a fabulous time, and returned home on Sunday (after a great breakfast with Chip & Dale).  Within two hours of being home, Savannah started acting like she didn't feel well.  Another hour after that, she had a fever...uh oh.  We buckled down for a long night with a sick girl, and made plans to go to the doctor first thing in the morning.

Morning came....and I got really sick.  With something entirely different from Savannah.  I managed to get her to the doctor and home before I ceased to be helpful.  And the next three days were BAD.  I haven't been that sick in a while and, of course, Sav recovered faster than I did, so while I was still content to lay in one spot on the couch for hours on end, she wanted a playmate (because of her fevers and a need to collect three days worth of stool samples from her....ughhhhhhhhh...she couldn't go back to school).  Today is the first day resembling anything close to normal, and we're still kinda off around here.  Hopefully, tomorrow is even better (and back to 100% by Saturday b/c I have a JOB INTERVIEW!!!).  This sickness needs to go far, far away.  And, even better, not impact J on its way out!

Lots of love,

Ashley

(More) Conversations with Savannah

A&J: "Savannah, we have a surprise for you.  Next week, we're going to get on an airplane and go to Seattle!"

S: <puzzled look on face> "Who is Attle?"

A:  "No, not 'Attle.'  Seattle...it's a city."

S: "But why are we going to see Attle?  Who is Attle?"

A: <finally realizing the problem> "We're going to Kirkland"

S: "But what about Attle? I thought we were going to see attle?"

A: <defeated>

______________________________________________

A: "Savannah, would you like to get a snack before we go shopping?"

S:  "Yes, but we need a cart."

A: "We can get the cart after our snack."

S: "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

A: "Yes, it'll be fine."

S: <sighing> "Well, if you say so, mother" [ETA: Really? "mother"?!]

_______________________________________________

J: "Let's get in the car Savannah.  Time for school."

S: "Ok." <gets in seat>  "Daddy, do you know what?"

J: "What, Savannah"

S: "I am just so beautiful."

The Agony and Ecstasy of Historical Writing

When I began writing this dissertation....a while ago.....I had some strong ideas about how the whole process would work.  I had written tons of papers and thought that I knew how to approach writing: research your topic, write your outline, churn out the first draft over the course of a few days (though, if I'm being honest, most papers I turned in for undergrad and grad seminars were hastily written in the day or two before they were due), make a few edits (mostly grammatical...perhaps deal with some structural issues, if I was feeling especially inspired), and then be done with the paper.  I naively thought that dissertating would just be a bigger/longer version of this exact process.  Ha.

Dissertating, for me at least, has looked more like this:

• Conduct research on what you think your topic is
• Return home, only to realize that you neglected to study some facet of your project that has inexplicably become important
• Write a chapter outline
• Begin writing (after 2-3 false starts, at the rate of about 350 words/day)
• Get seriously aggravated at your (in)ability to put words into sentences; make grand observations like, "the Church of Scotland was a hot mess in the eighteenth century" (yes, 10+ years of higher education got me to the point that I could make such insightful analytical statements)
• Search for jobs outside of academia; realize you're not qualified for anything; back to writing
• Over the course of writing the chapter, come to the slow conclusion that your original argument (see outline above) was entirely wrong; take break to write new outline
• Start writing again; cobble together a few pages of continuous narrative; still no argument for chapter, but you've got a story!
• Realize your story is not very compelling or interesting to read; lots of self-doubt ("obviously I'm the worst grad student ever and everyone else knows what they're doing")
• Back to writing
• Deep thoughts about how all these chapters are suppose to fit together; panic over whether or not your dissertation chapters make sense together; what is the argument again?
• Meet with advisor; discuss something thoroughly irrelevant to your work; look at jobs outside academia again
• Back to writing; have a string of good days--realize this topic is actually interesting and maybe, just maybe, you're writing something interesting
• Share work with others; remember why you like writing and academia
• Revise, which now means completely gutting the chapter and rethinking everything
• Begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel
• Submit draft to advisor....wait 3-4 weeks for feedback
• Think you're done with chapter...then realize there are MORE edits
• More edits
• More revisions
• More edits
• WILL. THIS. NEVER. END?
• More edits.
• Sigh.
• Finally, chapter is signed off on.

And repeat this process again...for. every. chapter.

Much of this process is painful, and causes you to doubt your abilities.  But then, often when you least expect it, you have a day that reminds you why you enjoy history and writing:  you make a breakthrough on a chapter, find a new source, talk with a friend. Those days save me, and my sanity.  January was filled mostly with good days--much was accomplished.  I went on a writing retreat for a weekend and focused all of my energies on writing and thinking about this project.  I am wrapping up three separate chapters right now, and feeling really good about all of them.  I still have not figured out my second chapter--it's a mess....a hot mess even...but it'll get sorted.  I expect some painful days dealing with it, though.  And then, hopefully, I'll be reminded of the joy that can be found in figuring it out....in getting it right.  

Happy Birthday to Jason!

In addition to today being Groundhog Day (more winter!) and Super Bowl Sunday (meh.), today is also Jason's 31st birthday!  My brother came over last night to watch Savannah and Sonja, so that Jason and I could take a short overnight getaway.  We had a really lovely dinner...though, as almost always happens in these situations, we spent a lot of time talking about our lovely girl :)

Jason had a chicken mole casserole, which was awesome.

I had (two!) Sangria Margaritas....an unusual combo, but one that worked!

A churro sundae for dessert.

We enjoyed a nice, leisurely breakfast this morning before returning home.  While we were away, Savannah and Uncle Bo baked a spice cake (from scratch!).  It turned out beautifully.

I was impressed by the decorations on it, and we're all looking forward to trying a piece later this afternoon.

Hope all our friends in the east bay are keeping dry today.  I'll be posting a dissertation update in the next day or two....January was a month of intense writing!

Lots of love,

Ashley

P.S.-We are taking a rather unexpected trip to Kirkland, WA the week after next.  Any suggestions for fun things to do with a three year old in the Seattle area?

A New Semester

There's something really exciting about the beginning of a new semester--new students, new books, all the possibilities.  I do love this time of year (exception to this being the very first day of classes, when Cal goes from being a nice quiet place where it's easy to get lunch/coffee to bursting with 30k+ people overnight...), but the first few weeks require some negotiating.  My main issue is time.  I got into a nice routine in the fall: I had writing times worked into my schedule, as well as times to rest, or do more research, or spend time with Savannah and Jason.  Now it's time to figure all that out again....my work schedule (at the teaching center) has changed, I'm teaching this semester (which is awesome, but this does take up time!), I need to finish this dissertation, I need to apply for jobs, and I'd like to spend meaningful time with friends and family.  I've not figured out the magical equation that will make this semester work just yet, but I'm optimistic it'll get sorted out here shortly.

The past few weeks have not all been about work, though.  We've also had some fun adventures.

We went to the SF Zoo for the first time with some friends from school.  It was awesome...and ridiculously warm for January

We baked the purpliest of cupcakes

I took Sav to get her nails painted.  This was the look I got when I suggested a different nail color....she knows what she wants, thankyouverymuch.

Blowing bubbles on a lovely afternoon.

Savannah has been working on letters at school, so we've been supplementing that at home.  Her energy and enthusiasm about learning is infectious.  I need to remember that learning is fun :)

We've got some exciting things coming up in the next few weeks: job interviews for me, Jason's birthday (on Sunday!), Savannah's birthday (we're going to Disneyland!), and, hopefully, the successful construction of a schedule that works for all of us.  

Lots of love,

Ashley

Christmas Photos and a Dissertation Update

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I intended to write well before today, but I've gotten sidetracked with various other little projects.  I go back to work next week (and begin teaching for the spring term on January 21), so I"m trying to get ahead on lesson planning/dissertating/other household things before things get real crazy 'round here.

We had a lovely Christmas, full of family, good food (if I do say so myself), and lots of fun.

Savannah loved the doll house Santa brought her!

The boys took part in a Nanoblock build-a-thon..they each got the same Leaning Tower of Pisa set and raced to build it first.

It took a little over an hour, but Jason won :)

After a few days enjoying the new toys, we took Savannah to Gilroy Gardens for their Christmas lights.  We had so much fun, but it was WAY colder than we anticipated.  

Sav gave her carousel horse a hug goodbye at the end of the ride.

Running to the next ride!

Driving the car on her own

The facial expression is priceless :)

Grandma and Grandpa on the train

We all rode the carousel...this is what Grandpa did the whole time!

Gail, Danny, and Nick flew back to Virginia yesterday--we were glad to have them out here for the holidays this year.

And, since it's the first of the month, a quick dissertation update, because there's not too much to update on.  I took the last two weeks off, which was much needed (and, dare I say it, well-deserved).  I'm taking myself off on a writer's retreat next weekend with the goal of firming up edits and revisions on two chapters.  Once I do that, I'll have one chapter left to finalize (plus the edits and revisions that will, without doubt, continue right up til I file the thing).  I'm in a good place with it...there is a light at the end of the tunnel after all.  

I hope our friends on the East coast are keeping warm this weekend with all the chilly weather!

Love you all,

Ashley

A Weekend in SF, and Returning to Where it All Began...

Gail, Danny, and Nick are in town visiting with us for Christmas and New Year's.  A few weeks ago, when we started asking Savannah what she wanted for Christmas, she mentioned she wanted to go to a hotel (in addition to asking for two Aurora dolls, a tractor, and lots of acorns), so last weekend we made good on this wish and took her into San Francisco for the night (we=me, Danny, Gail, and Sav).  We began our adventure with tea!

After tea, we checked into our hotel (really, the highlight for Sav...she liked going out and about, but without fail, she'd start asking to go back to the hotel within a few minutes of us leaving.  Not sure where this fascination came from).

We went down to Fisherman's Wharf and the Boudin Bakery.

Savannah got to practice delivering bread!

The next morning, we went to breakfast and Ghirardelli Square.

Making wishes in the fountain was a highlight for her :)

And then to see some boats on the Hyde Street Pier.

We saved the best for last, though.  Her favorite activity, hands down, was doing the trampoline at Pier 39.  She's a fearless girl!

She was SOOOO proud of herself for doing the back flip!

We've been busy with last-minute wrapping/shopping/baking, but, yesterday, Jason and I squeezed in a trip back to the SCI floor at Santa Clara Valley Medical.  Jason talked to a group of inpatients about life after discharge, and how a SCI doesn't have to ruin your life.  I also talked a bit about how this type of injury impacts spouses.  It was great to be back; it's good to be reminded of how far he's (we've) come in the past two and a half years.  We met some really wonderful people--one of whom was a young man who wants to go to college to study history.  I chatted with him a bit and encouraged him to think about Berkeley.  We're the best after all :)

Back in the halls that, for a time at least, were home for us.

I hope you all are enjoying this joyous season, and that you are able to spend time with your loved ones.

Love you all,

Ashley